Future News Commentary

News Commentary
________  Tuesday 3 August 2038 _________

Deo Vindice Quo                                                     Gladius de Veritas

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Mass Yankee Migration
Clogged North Bound lanes

By G.B.F. McCullum
     
The following bulletin was snatched out of a future time, when the Yankee Empire is in the midst of collapsing.  This is not unlike reading tomorrows news today!  It is hoped those who oppose the liberation of the Confederacy, will live long and healthy lives, thereby enabling them to experience and enjoy the unique privilege of witnessing these events, as depicted in this news commentary.  

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We are posting a special highway bulletin!  Unless it is critical for you to be traveling northbound, it is strongly recommended that you reconsider and stay off our major highways.  Since the Confederate States patriots began returning to the political arena in large numbers as a result of the recent elections, an evacuation of the Southland has been underway.  Many devotees of the old Yankee Empire, including scalawags and traitors to the Confederate Cause, have decided it is time to leave.  Estimates have it that as many as 40 million evacuees are crowding our northbound lanes.  This is in addition to our own patriots needing to travel for business and other reasons.

Highway 95 along the Atlantic seaboard is the most crowded!  Traffic jams are reported, some reaching 20 and 30 miles outwards of most major Southern cities.  The overwhelming congestion and mass confusion can particularly be seen along the northern borders of the Confederacy, known historically as the Mason-Dixon Line.  Traffic on highway's 85, 75 and 77 doe not fair much better, with north bound lanes creeping at bumper-to-bumper speeds their entire length.  The Shenandoah Parkway is said to be a sold mass of vehicles, extending clear back to the mountains.

Reports are coming in that highway 65 between Montgomery and Birmingham is locked down tight the entire length.  This seems to be the result of large numbers of evacuees in those two cities.  When added to traffic coming from northwest Florida, it is far more then the system was designed to handle.  We can all hope they took their lunch, drinking water and remembered to fill up before they departed!

In the western States highway 83 and 25 are equally as crowded with traffic from Louisiana, Arkansas and west Texas, where masses of Yankees, Scalawags and Traitors to the Confederacy are making their way north.  All these are attempting to evacuate our beloved homeland! Additionally, westbound traffic out of Flagstaff and Phoenix Arizona is at an all time high.   Like escapees from justice, they are fleeing to the left coast, and liberal sanctuaries in California.

My fellow Confederates, we haven't witnessed such a retreat as this, since the Battle of First Manassas.   General Stonewall Jackson should have lived to see this: It is a glorious mess out there on the highways and one Jefferson Davis would have loved.   However be nice to our departing occupation forces, give them a mannerly and hardy Southern goodbye, wave and be sure not to allow any of them to be stranded or left behind.  Help them onward toward their northern destination like a good patriot of the Confederacy.   And be sure to guard our southbound lanes, least they attempt to slip back into our country!

These people are obviously so determined to leave the Confederacy, scores of them have been spotted from the air hitchhiking.  Several Southern States have laws against hitchhiking on the freeway, but have made an acceptation in this case.  We Southerners haven't had so much to smile about, since the inauguration of our First President of the Confederate States!  We have just lost a major dependent, and their Southern gravy train is over; 'those people' will now need to work for a living and earn their own way.  Amen

"But I will remove far off from you the northern army,…" Joel 2:20